Sitting around Sheila’s kitchen table, she announced, “I am in my final 20”. Care to explain? She shared that as we mature, we realize that our time left on this earth has an end date. This year COVID gave me a gift of reflection, and I am grateful.
As I write this, I am sitting on the deck of a home we rented for the week of Thanksgiving. I am looking at the pale pink sky hovering over the sea. Rich and I spent the day together, and the children and grandchildren will join us tomorrow to finish the week. I cannot begin to express how fortunate I am that we have the resources to stay here and the gratitude that the owners chose to open their home.
It was a challenging year, but as my colleagues have heard me say, “Constraint breeds innovation.” Over the last ten months, a lot of change was countered with goodness and joy.
In a herculean move, we pulled my mother from her decrepit 200-year-old farmhouse, complete with intermittent heat and phone service, to a safe place she and my father had selected 19 years ago. My sister and I had to endure, “You are rushing me,” but call me crazy; nineteen years is not exactly the speed of light.
Once she was settled, we had to sell her real estate. Long Beach Island was and is my favorite place. When I drive over the causeway, everything is calm. My father wanted to leave it to us, but she did not. When someone turns 89, the sharpness dulls, and the paranoia sets in. If your siblings are not aligned, you break. I wanted to buy the house but could not do it alone. My brother-in-law’s business was in a precarious state with COVID, so my options were gone.
I did the “right” thing, interviewed the realtors, and staged the rooms before passing the process to my brother. My mother believes that men have financial acumen regardless of experience. Yes, that stung, but some things are not worth fighting. It was Father’s Day when I walked to the dock’s end to say goodby to the house. So many family memories swept over me, and I shut the back door one final time.
Professionally, I passed the baton to the next line because change is necessary to birth new ideas. In doing so, my heart swelled so much that I thought it would burst. Colleen, my sister-in-law, says, “pay attention to the stings,” and I would now add, “Pay attention to the compliments” because they feed the soul.
I treasured the moments and found new priorities. One afternoon Rich came home early and made a leaf pile for our grandsons to experience pile jumping fun. I had a conference call, and the boys arrived late edging very close to my call. I moved the call and watched the wonder on their faces. First’s come once; that is why they are firsts.
I realized what I don’t need, and I don’t need much. This year learned that happiness is not as important as peace. And to the surprise of many, I finally embraced the power of slow.
foursetsofeyes 