Jay Shetty has a tradition on his birthday. He spends the day reflecting on the last year before he embarks on the next one. I decided to try it this year and learned that a quote embossed in our harbor is real, “You make a living by what you give…”
When I look back at the signature moments, and they are plentiful, they have one thing in common. They involve giving to others.
Take the gavel. After several attempts, I won the election for board chair and pushed to bring the college, community, and board to work as one. The demands were high and delivered the most rewarding experiences of my life.
Filling the Bucket List. My husband has been a golfer for 40 years and dreamed of playing Pebble Beach. In January, we knocked it off his bucket list. Rounding the curve on the 4th hole and hearing, “Welcome to Pebble,” was just as he imagined and watching him with his friends, priceless. *My only regret was seeing Condoleezza Rice walk out of the ladies’ room at Spyglass and not saying, “thank you for your service.” Yes, I succumbed to peer pressure, and it would have been cool.
Closing one door and opening another. I loved my job until I didn’t. New management came in, you know the drill, “a friend of a friend,” was hired pushing me out. Sitting in the conference room where I launched the program a few years earlier, I saw the tears in my protege’s eyes when she shared her new job description. It was mine. I had to stop the pain felt by those I led, so I stepped away, freeing them to rise. I may have paved the way, but they took the steps, and it made my heart swell.
Engaging the circle to honor another. Our golf pro started his career at the club as a caddie. He was retiring, and I was asked to “do an invitation or something” for his send-off celebration. Retirement was going to be hard for us and heart wrenching for him. I solicited well-wishing video vignettes from friends and sourced his favorite songs. Hours of work birthed a collage of memories celebrating a man who has devoted his life to teaching us the game. They laughed, remembered, and he cried. It was a real labor of love that touched him and touched me right back.
Made my coach proud. My husband is a golfer and taught me the game so that we could spend time together. I am an energizer bunny, and the thought of spending hours, minus a phone, chasing a little white ball was unfathomable. Ironically, it changed my life. The game showed me that slowing down is actually a luxury, and sometimes the only way to get things done. On a Sunday afternoon, I stepped up to the tee box on the hardest hole on the course. This time I tried a new club and hit a perfect ball. You know the feeling, so much so that you don’t even look up. Reaching down to pick up my tee, I heard my husband deliver the play by play, including, “You just got a hole in one.” Yes, I got the trophy, but he got the credit.
Pushing others up. I read the email asking me to be the keynote at Women Entrepreneurs Rock and blinked in disbelief. A few weeks later, I was standing on the stage where Bruce Springsteen launched his career, sharing my story of struggle and evolution. It was raw, it was real, and as my sister said, it took guts. If my story helped one woman know she is not alone, it was worth it.
A new title, grandma. To top it, two of my daughters gave birth to sons within six months. Never having given birth, I was unprepared for the oxygen, the blood, the rush to C-section delivery. I moved behind the curtain to hide my fear and remain grateful to my son-in-law, who said, “I have them.” Holding these little boys, watching my daughters as they grow into beautiful mothers has been the greatest gift of all.
Tomorrow I will turn the page filled with hope, peace, and excitement for the year asking myself, “Where can I give today”?
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